


Something's Wrong With Noodle

by KingBlueberryGem



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Depression, Eating Disorders, Family, Mental Anguish, Noodle's having a real bad time, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Relationships, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2019-08-05 14:06:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16369037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingBlueberryGem/pseuds/KingBlueberryGem
Summary: The boys are taking note of Noodle's strange behavior. Hiding away, not talking, not sleeping, barely eating. That isn't like her. What's happened to their upbeat guitarist?





	1. Chapter 1

It was 2-D who first noticed the change in the young woman's behavior. Not long after moving into 212 Wobble Street, he noticed that Noodle wasn't acting like Noodle. He had given her a bowl of cereal that she just stared at. She didn't eat it, just stared, pushing it around with the spoon. She didn't say a word to him, either, which was odd, as she always greeted him with a happy "Morning, 2-D!" when she met him for breakfast.

He also took note of how she looked. Noodle cared a lot about looking half decent before she faced anyone. But on that day she didn't seem to care. Her hair was messy, sticking out in every direction, and she still had her over sized shirt and pajama pants on. She also wasn't wearing make up, and he could only tell because the scarring around her right eye was visible. Something she always covered up for whatever reason.

"You feelin' awlrigh', love?" He asked, but only received a side glance for a response. "I only ask cause you look a lil..." He tried to think of a way to say it without offending her. "Uh, a lil off."

Noodle's eyes shifted from him back to the bowl of now soggy mush in front of her. She had a spoonful of the gross looking milk and Shreddies paste, then pushed the bowl away and stood. Something in her eyes was making 2-D worry. He didn't quite know what it was, but he knew the guitarist never had that look before.

"You should ea' a lil more, Noods." He stated with concern.

She licked her lips, dumped the paste into the sink, and left the kitchen. The singer shuddered, knowing he would have to deal with scooping that gross mush out of the sink. Maybe she was just having an off day, even happy people have those. For the time being, he was satisfied with that answer.

Murdoc was the only other person to see her that same day, and when he did it was probably 11:00 PM. He had come home from the pub that night, and found Noodle sitting on the stairs playing her old Nintendo DS. The only source of light was coming from the small handheld game, until Murdoc turned the lights on. This caused Noodle to flinch as her eyes adjusted to the florescent light.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Murdoc questioned as he walked over to her. Her nose scrunched up at the smell of alcohol and smoke coming from the bassist. He took the game from her and turned it off. "Go to bed, love."

Noodle's response to this was a whine of protest. Incidentally, that had been the first sound she made all day. Murdoc rubbed his forehead in annoyance, and grabbed her by the arm. "C'mon." He growled. She didn't fight him, but she didn't willingly start walking up the stairs either, so he was left with dragging her by the arm. If it was hurting her, she wasn't saying anything.

"Why are you making this so hard?" He grunted. "Satan, why are you so damn heavy?!"

Noodle's face changed for just a moment, then she stood and walked to her room. The satanist was confused, but at least she was going without a fight now. He shook it off as teenage angst and headed towards his own room, then he remembered Noodle was twenty-three now. Did teenage angst last past teenage years? He didn't know, and he wasn't going to bother looking into it.

Noodle had always been weird in his eyes. It wasn't just the fact she arrived in a box, or turned out to be some kind of soldier, either. Everything about the girl confused him. Of course, he never really connected with her like 2-D and Russel did. He was more like the drunk uncle that would secretly give her bottles of beer to drink when they were alone. Not really someone to confide in. He still cared, but he knew he ruined a chance at any good relationship with her after El Manana.

Either way, he still felt a little worried. It was unnerving to see her just sitting in the dark. She was normally in bed by 10:00, and he only knew this from checking in on her from time to time. She almost never broke routine unless there was something important, and as much as Noodle loved her games, they weren't all that important. After a moment, Murdoc decided to chalk it down to she had a bad dream and was playing her game to take her mind off it. That didn't explain why she choose to sit on the stairs, but it was the best answer his half drunk mind could think up.

The two had hoped the odd behavior would just last for a day or two, and soon she'd be back to her normal self. That's what they expected. Noodle never stayed upset for too long, so she should've been back to smiling and laughing by the end of the week.

Now it was almost two weeks after the behavior started, and Noodle's attitude hadn't changed. She still wasn't talking, she didn't play her guitar, she didn't eat (or if she did they never saw), and she never left her room unless she had to use the bathroom. Well, that wasn't completely true. Every now and then she went out and did God knows what for few hours, but whenever she came back it was straight to her room.

2-D awoke one night to the sound of someone in the kitchen. The singer had fallen asleep in the living room by accident, and when he could fully understand what he was hearing, he got nervous. Was someone in the house? Oh no, he'd have to fight some intruder wouldn't he? He didn't want to do that! Quietly, he tip toed over to the kitchen and peered in, only to discovered the sound was Noodle, rummaging through the fridge for food.

She was bathed in the light of the fridge, eating a cold slice of pizza. From what he could tell, she look like a mess. Her hair seemed matted, stuck out in whatever way it wanted to go, and as he got closer he could see how pale her face was.

He flipped the kitchen light on. "Noodle?" The guitarist jumped a bit, then looked at him with wide eyes. She blinked, dropping whatever was left of the pizza slice and spitting what was in her mouth out into a trashcan. 2-D frowned. "You don' have to stop ea'in' jus' cause I'm here."

She didn't offer a response, instead she shut the fridge and started to grinding her teeth together. The singer recognized the anxious behavior, it was something she did a lot as a child. It usually only happened when she felt she was going to get in trouble. But he didn't understand why she was doing it now. He wouldn't scolded her for eating at night, she was probably starving.

He picked up the pizza slice and handed it too her. "You haven' been ea'in' a whole lo', have you, love?" She let out a heavy sigh through her nose, and took the slice back, starting to eat slowly, cautiously. It was strange, she usually ate like a starved animal. "Noodle, wha's goin' on wif you?" She gave a short shrug, taking another bite of the pizza. "Love, please tell me. You can' jus' starve yourself for no reason."

Noodle shifted her weight from foot to foot, and decided she was done with the half eaten pizza slice. She walked passed 2-D, and tossed it in the trash. She ignored him when he tried calling her back, and went right to her room, leaving the singer alone in the kitchen. He was felt a mix of emotions, none of them were good.

Why was she doing this to herself? She didn't need to lose any weight. This was much more than simple 'teen/young adult angst' or an 'off day' as the boys had originally thought. He was starting to get worried if they didn't find the source of this problem she was going to end up dead.


	2. Chapter 2

Russel caught her throwing up in the bathroom that morning. He had finally gotten down to a size where he could fit in the house, and the first thing he saw was Noodle puking her guts out. She didn't say anything when he asked if she was okay. She just gave him a zoned out look, and wiped her mouth on her arm. She was shaking, but it was anyone's guess as to why. She didn't even really know at this point, there was too many factors and her tired mind wasn't about to take guesses.

It didn't matter anyway.

She stood, and pushed past the confused drummer after flushing what was mostly stomach acid. He went to go after her, but she slammed her bedroom door shut. Russel clicked his tongue, and decided to gave her space, after all she could of just been sick. That's what he was hoping.

"Mornin', Russ. Good to see you back inside." 2-D smiled at the bigger man, who offered a nod.

"Good to be back inside. I like to change clothes now and then, y'know?" The drummer gave a smirk in return. "What have I missed while I was trapped outside?"

The singer thought for a moment. "Well, Murdoc wen' from wearin' fongs to plain whi'e undies." He laughed when Russel rolled his eyes. "And, eh... Noodle's been ac'in' kinda weird la'ely..."

The drummer raised an eyebrow. "Weird can be kind of a broad statement with Noodle. What do you mean?" He wasn't exactly wrong. Over the years the boys discovered Noodle did a lot of things that could be considered weird. They never judge her for them, they were the last people who were allowed to judge, but that didn't stop them from getting weirded out every now and then by the young Japanese woman.

"It's li'e she go' replaced or somefin'. She isn' talkin' anymore, and I don' fink I've seen her ea' righ' in days." He noticed Russel's face turn a little more concered. "At firs' we fought she was havin' a bad day or somefin', but I saw her sneakin' food las' night. She stopped ea'in' when I found her." The singer made a note to himself to tell Murdoc this too, whenever he saw the bassist. "She seemed... Kinda scared...?"

"Of you?"

"Yeah, I di'n' believe it eifer..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe she'll talk to you, do you fink you can try?"

Russel shifted a little. "I just saw her." 2-D gave him a look, urging him to continue. "She didn't say anythin' to me, but she was throwin' up."

The blue haired man made a face. "We need to make her talk to us..."

"And how are you gonna do that? You're talkin' about the girl who doesn't say that much as it is. 'Sides, can't force her to talk."

"We should still try..."

Russel agreed, and the two went to sit and think of a plan.

Murdoc knocked on the Noodle's door around lunch, holding a plate with a peanut butter sandwich on it. It had always been the girl's favorite, so he figured maybe she would eat that, if nothing else. He didn't get an answer, not that he expected one, so he just opened the door like he used to when she was little. He found her staring at herself in the mirror, dressed in a bra and pajama pants.

Now the bassist hadn't gotten a good look at Noodle since he found her in the dark, but now that he saw her his heart tightened. She was getting close to being half her size, and considering she was already fairly skinny that wasn't really a good thing. When she noticed him, she scrambled to put her sweater back on. Murdoc set the sandwich on her bedside table, and lifted her face so he could get a better look.

Her eyes were dull, with bags under them. Her skin was pale and her hair looked like it hadn't been washed in a few days. Something he had taken note of was she only showered when she was going out. He pursed his lips, this wasn't the Noodle he knew and grew to love. This was a shell.

"You look awful." He stated, and noticed Noodle's face twitch before he let it go. "I brought you lunch." The satanist grabbed the plate from the bedside table and held it out to her. The sight of food brought a whole other look to her eyes. Less dull and lifeless, and more starved, but she didn't take it right away. When she glanced at him, he realized. She was waiting for permission.

To eat a fucking sandwich he made for her.

Like a dog, too scared of falling out of line to just take it's food and run.

"...Take it, love. I made it for you." He urged, and watched her hesitantly take the plate and started eating. Murdoc watched, making sure she at most of it, before he turned his head to the door. "Noodle... You know you can tell me anything." She paused, and turned her head to look at him. "I may not be your best friend after... everything..." He saw her give a small nod. "But I still care about you."

Her chewing slowed, and she let out a sigh. She still didn't say anything, but she leaned against him. The odd mix of alcohol and cheap cigarettes was weirdly comforting in the moment. So familiar. She almost fell asleep against him, then her phone buzzed, signalling a phone call, and that feeling of comfort went away.

Murdoc felt the shift of atmosphere as the phone buzzed, and Noodle swallowed the last of her sandwich and pushed him out of the room and shut the door. His curiosity peaked, and he pressed an ear against it, only to give out a frustrated huff when he couldn't hear anything, which either meant Noodle wasn't saying anything, or the walls were thicker than he once thought. The bassist went to meet up with 2-D and Russel in the living room.

"Well?" Russel asked once Murdoc sat in his chair.

"She wouldn't say anything, but she looks terrible." The satanist responded, resting his head in his hand. "Skinny, pale... frightened." There was a moment of silence. "She got a call before kicking me out of her room. No, I don't know who called her."

The other two thought to see if they ever missed Noodle saying something about a friend. They couldn't recall if she had. Truthfully, they didn't think she had friends outside of the band. They knew she could be social, but she was also... awkward in a way that turned people off. Maybe that was their fault, they never really taught her how to act with others, and she was never around anyone her own age.

"Maybe she's go' a boyfriend?" 2-D piped up.

"I always thought she was gay... she always seemed... butch..." Murdoc muttered, more to himself than anything, then shook his head. "Anyway, she would tell us if she was in a relationship."

"Yeah? Like how she's tellin' us everythin' now, right?" Russel raised a skeptical eyebrow. "'D might be onto somethin', though. If I were her I wouldn't wanna bring my partner to meet us either."

"Are you saying we aren't great people?"

"I'm sain' 2-D's a 6'3" man with pitch black eyes and a drug addiction, I wouldn't trust anyone she brings home and she knows it, and you're..." He looked over Murdoc. "You. Of course she wouldn't bring them here."

"So what exactly is the theory? She has a boyfriend and suddenly she's anti social?"

"Eifer tha' or Cyborg Noodle's back an' has the real Noodle tied up somewhere in a basement, possibly bein' tortured, an' she's jus' posing as Noods so we don' notice. Bu' Cyborg can' ea' an-" 2-D was cut off when Russel pointed at Cyborg Noodle's head, sitting upside down with a bonsai growing from it's neck. It was glaring at the singer. "Oh... Righ'. Sorry. Forgo' abou' tha' whole 'head is a pot plant' thing..."

Murdoc and Russel just sighed at 2-D. "Even if she has a boyfriend, the two might be separate issues." Russel finally stated after a moment. "We shouldn't-" He cut himself off when the heard the stairs creek.

Noodle had tried to slip by unnoticed, holding her shoes in her hands to try and be quieter. But the stairs were so fucking squeaky in this damn house, it was impossible. She let out an audible groan when she saw the boys looking at her. They were going to ask questions and she didn't want to answer. She needed to go. Now. She kept walking but stopped when 2-D called for her to come back. She tensed, but listened and walked into the room.

"Where're you goin', Noods?" The singer asked, head tilted curiously. She only gave a shrug.

"C'mon, Noodle, you can't just..." Russel rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Noodle we're worried about you. We just wanna know in case you get hurt or somethin'."

The girl gave a sniff in response, then quietly muttered something in Japanese. She didn't want to deal with them. She couldn't, she didn't have time. They were taking turns saying some speech about personal safety, always have your guard up, something like that. She wasn't paying attention to it, really. She was an adult she didn't need to hear this. She took care of herself fine.

Right?

She gave a dismissive eye roll and walked out of the room. Murdoc and Russel both yelled at her to get back, as they weren't done talking, but she ignored them and was out the front door. Murdoc threw his arms in the air then crossed them over his chest.

"We should follow her!" 2-D suggested, standing up. "She's probably meeting up with whoever called her."

"You can't just stalk a woman, 'D." The drummer said flatly. "We'll just wait till she gets back and try again."

The singer groaned. "You can do tha' if you wan'. I'm gonna ge' to the bo'om of this." He grabbed his jacket and ran out the door, following the direction Noodle had gone.

If the others weren't going to help, he'd do it himself.


	3. Chapter 3

'How did I end up in this hell' Noodle thought, rushing through the streets of downtown London to try and get to her destination as fast as possible. Her lungs were starting to hurt, and she made a mental note to try and lay off the cigarettes. Of course the lack of food, and sleep, and over all just mistreatment of her body lately, was also a factor in the pain she felt while running, but that wasn't exactly something she was concerning herself with. She just had to keep running. She only stopped when she say a glimpse of herself in a store window. She paused, staring at her own reflection.

She looked like shit.

She made a face, and started walking. All she wanted to do was crawl into a hole and die, but she couldn't end her own life. It would destroy the boys, and she couldn't handle the guilt of knowing she'd put them through something like that. Besides, things weren't that bad. She had a great, all be it a little insane, family, with a dumb yet funny singer for a brother, an alcoholic yet caring bassist for a dad, and an amazing and loving drummer for another dad. Everything was pretty much how she wanted it.

It was her girlfriend making her suffer, and she knew that. She wasn't stupid, or maybe she was, because she kept coming back. She remembered the time she tried breaking it off with the girl. Noodle simply said she didn't think they were connecting, well it was a little more complicated than that, but that was what she was going with. Instead of accepting it, the girl threatened to kill herself. Maybe that's where this downward spiral started, because that was all it took to send Noodle into a panic. She didn't want to be the reason someone killed themselves, so she stayed. Now she was this girls punching bag, which could be taken figuratively or literally, both were pretty accurate.

It started simply enough, with passing comments about her weight. Now Noodle's image of herself was not the greatest, but she always thought her weight was fine, she wasn't fat, but she wasn't a skeleton. Just right in her own opinion. But she'd hear comments from her girlfriend (or sometimes her girlfriend's friends if they were hanging out) about how much she ate. Every. Fucking. Time. And it got to her. It moved from weight comments to telling her how little she meant to everyone. How the guys only kept her for her guitar playing. How if she were to vanish, nobody would notice. Nobody cared about her.

The worst part was she started to believed every word they said. She hated herself, she was worthless, and stupid, and gross, and no one really loved her. She deserved this kind of relationship, she was lucky anyone wanted to be with her.

Yes, she was lucky...

She felt her pockets, looking for her phone to check the time, and a horrified expression crossed her face. She didn't have her phone. She took it with her, she was sure of that. Right? Which meant it fell out of her pocket.

"Shit..."

2-D was in no shape to be running. He had followed Noodle, only to get left in the dust when he tripped on his own legs. Like he needed another injury... He groaned, and by the time he was up, Noodle was out of sight.

"Grea'..." He muttered, and stood from the sidewalk. "She moves too fast..." His stated to himself, then his eyes fell to something on the ground. A phone.

Noodle's phone. Maybe his operation wasn't completely lost! He picked the phone off the ground and turned it on. The screen displayed a message from someone called 'Roselyn'. It only stated "You're so fucking slow, where are you?". 2-D's eyes narrowed at the screen. Maybe it was just his paranoia, but he didn't like this person. Granted, it could be friendly banter, he didn't exactly have any context. He decided that he would take the phone back to the house, and him and the guys could look at it together.

Satisfied with that plan, he started home.

"We can't snoop through Noodle's phone, 'D." Russel said, once 2-D was back with device. "She could have private stuff on there."

"Don' you wanna know wha's goin' on wif her?" The singer asked.

"Yeah, but this is all kinds of wrong."

Murdoc huffed, and tossed the phone on the table. "Won't do good anyway. She put a password on it."

"Probably so people don't look at her shit."

"Then we're no closer to finding out what's going on."

"Tha's no' true. We go' the name of who Noodle's mee'in' wif." 2-D smiled.

"And we know she's a bitch."

Russel sighed. "We can't do anything unless we get Noodle to talk to us."

"Which isn't going to happen!" Murdoc stood from his chair. "If she hasn't told us anything now, what makes you think us having her phone is going to make her suddenly speak?"

"I don't know, alright? I'm just..." The drummer let out a sigh through his nose. "Man... y'know I miss the old days. When we were still young 'n' stupid."

The other two sighed, and nodded in agreement. Back when they were starting out things were so simple. All they had to do was make music and have fun, back when the only real threat was zombies. Before El Mierda, before the cyborg, before everything went to shit. They all missed those days. Things seemed so complicated now. They lived in a crappy house they could barely afford, the Boogieman for a roommate, and the severed head of a clone of their fourteen year old guitarist serving as a bonsai planter. But at least they had each other, for whatever that counted for.

"Well thinking about the past isn't gonna help this situation. Let's just try and break in to Noodle's phone." Murdoc stated, picking up the phone. "What are some things she'd put as a password?"

Russel groaned, as 2-D suggested possible words. This was going to take forever.

How long did they spend trying to unlock the stupid phone? They didn't know, but it was dark out now, and they were all asleep in the living room with the phone on the table. That changed quickly when the front door slammed shut and they heard a quiet "Chikushou...". That must mean Noodle was back. They sat up and watched the guitarist trudge past. She didn't wave or even turn her head to acknowledge them.

"Christ, what happened to you?" Murdoc made his way over to the Japanese woman. "You look like you just got shagged by a bull." Noodle's face twisted at the analogy. What did that even mean? She let out a squeak when the bassist pulled the collar of her shirt a little to look at her neck. "Is that a bite mark?"

This caught the attention of the two other boys, and Noodle felt her face flush red as she pulled away from the satanist. Her head tilted down as she rubbed her arm. Why couldn't they have just stayed asleep? Why did she have to be so loud coming in? Why was she so stupid? Did they know?

They couldn't know, that would be impossible.

But what if they did?

"H-Hey, love, are you alright?" Murdoc was caught off guard when a sniffle came from the girl. Russel and 2-D came over and Noodle looked at them with glassy eyes. Not quite crying, but so close to it she started to shake a little. They didn't know what to do, it was so unnatural to see Noodle cry. She was always such a happy person, this was wrong. "Noodle-"

The guitarist pushed past them and ran to the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind her, then slid down to the floor with her knees to her chest. She didn't know if she was going to vomit again or have a breakdown, and really she didn't care. She just wanted to shower and get clean. Everything was sore, and she didn't move for a long time, just listened to the boys come by one by one to knock and try talking to her. She never responded, just kept her face buried in her arms.

She finally worked up the energy to shower, but it didn't make her feel as clean as she thought it would. She still felt... bad, and it was pissing her off. She could of scrubbed a whole layer of skin off and still would of felt disgusted with herself. Noodle cringed at herself when she stepped out of the shower and saw her body in the mirror. The bite mark Murdoc had noticed was bruising, along with a few hickeys on her shoulders and thighs.

She could feel tears stinging her eyes again, and jumped when there was a knock on the bathroom door again. Weren't all the guys asleep? Did she keep them up? Then again this was the only bathroom, one of them probably needed to use it. She started to quickly dry herself off and get dressed.

"Noodle?" It was Russel, and knowing that made her slow her pace a little. "Hey, you've been in there for a while... I just wanna know how you're doin'." She let out a sniffle, and she felt pathetic. She couldn't talk to him, not about this. He'd just think she was weak, and maybe she was, but she just wanted them to stop asking questions. Why couldn't they leave her alone to suffer? Why did they have to pretend to care? "Please answer."

Once fully clothed, she swung the door to the bathroom open and buried her face into his chest like when she was a child. She felt his arms wrap around her as she let out a few pathetic whimpers and silently sobbed, effectively soaking his shirt. Russel stroked her still wet hair with one hand while the other held her tight. He didn't mind, this was more progress then they had made since she started acting so strange. And, as disheartening as it was to see, he was glad she was showing some range of emotion.

"You're alright, baby girl..." He said quietly, attempting to shush her sad noises. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Yes, of course she did, but she shook her head and stayed silent. She didn't want to bother anyone with her problems, she just wanted Russel to hold her like when she was little.

"Okay... I won't pressure you..." She heard him sigh. "What ever's goin' on, though... I want you to know it'll be okay, alright? You'll be okay..."

She gave another sniffle. He was wrong. Things weren't going to be "okay". Things haven't been "okay" in a while. Things were never going to be "okay" again.

She wasn't going to be "okay".


	4. Chapter 4

When Noodle eventually exhausted herself and fell asleep, Russel carried her to bed. She was so light, and looked so fragile in his arms, like if he held her too tight she would shatter. He entered the young woman's room, and he realized that he'd hadn't been in here yet. It was dark, and various posters and images covered the walls. She had the Japanese flag over her bed, and some old pictures pinned to a cork board. It was like a timeline, she had a few pictures from when they were first starting out; one from after their first concert, it had been 2-D's idea to take the picture, even though they had all been worn out, there was one of her and Del, one of their reunion after the few years they spent apart, a few from her trip to Japan. There was even a picture of the Cyborg Noodle wearing her cat mask (the two had gotten along before the Cyborg tried killing Murdoc). So many good times, and it felt like they were all over in a second.

The drummer gently laid the small girl in her bed, and covered her with the blankets. Noodle let out a silent whine as she was let go, and held the sheets tightly around her body. Her face was stained with tears. He watched her unconsciously move herself into a more comfortable position, before moving the hair from her face and giving her a soft kiss on the forehead. She stirred a little, but eventually relaxed once again. Russel left the room, turning the light off and silently shutting the door.

The moment he turned around, he was met with Murdoc and 2-D staring at him, as if they had been trying to see the situation. Not that there was much to see.

"She's asleep. We should all be asleep." He muttered, pushing past the two. Murdoc gave a nod in agreement, and headed to his own room, leaving 2-D standing outside their guitarist's door.

The singer let out a sigh, finally heading to his own room with Noodle's phone. He crashed onto his bed and set the cellphone on his nightstand. They'd have to try unlocking it again in the morning, they had to get to the bottom of this.

2-D jumped awake when he heard a loud buzz next to his head. It took him a minute, but he finally noticed it was Noodle's phone going off. Roselyn was calling, and he almost let it go to voicemail.

But this was his chance.

He picked the phone up and answered, but didn't even get a chance to say anything before a shrill voice started yelling in his ear.

"Finally! You're usually good at answerin' your damn phone, what the hell 'ave you been doin' all day?!" 2-D glanced at the clock, it was only 1:00 PM. He wanted to respond, but once again was cut off before he could start. "Wha'ever, is it about last night? Is that why you won't answer me? Because if that's all that's bothering you, Kitten, that's really stupid."

"Ki'en...?" He raised an eyebrow, then cursed himself for saying anything when the woman seemed to change her tone.

"Uh... Who's this?"

"I'm... My name's 2-D. I'm Noodle's brofer." He answered. "Sorry, guess she left her phone in my room."

"Oh, of course she did... A little thick in the head sometimes innit she..." The voice trailed off, and 2-D clicked his tongue, glaring at his wall. "Look, sorry if I woke you... 2-D... But I really need to speak with Noods."

The singer sniffed, he didn't like this girl using Noodle's nickname. He didn't like this girl at all. "Tell me wha' happened last nigh'."

"I'm sorry?"

"You asked if las' nigh' was why Noodle wasn' answerin'. Wha' happened?"

"Oh..." There was a pause. "...Ah, we got into an argumen'. Nothin' big, lover's spat really, I'm sure you understand tha', I was... calling to make sure she wasn' mad."

Now 2-D may not have been the smartest man in London, but he could tell she was lying. "You sure? Cause we found a bite on her neck an' she looked pre'y roughed up."

"Is that right..." Another pause. "I don' know anythin' about that. Maybe it happened while she was walkin' back."

"Hm... I'll let her know you called..." He hung up on her, and stood from his bed. He didn't believe a damn word that girl had told him, and he almost wanted to go find her and kick her teeth in. Of course, he couldn't just do that, no matter how positive he was this girl was causing Noodle's problems. He didn't have proof.

With a huff, he dressed himself and left his room, phone in hand. He stopped just outside of Noodle's door. The singer felt like he should check on her, so he did just that. "Noods?" He opened the door to the bedroom. "You u-" 2-D regretted his choice of just barging into her room the second he noticed she was naked. He stared at her back, taking note of the red scratches lining her back. They looked painful, but they weren't his main concern. Were those cuts on her upper arm?

"Nantekotta i?!" Noodle screamed, her face red when she saw 2-D. "Toochi! Watashi wa henka shite iru! Get out!" She picked up her clock and threw it at the singer. "GET OUT!"

He yelped and slammed the door before the clock could hit him in the face. He made a mental note to knock from now on, and sighed. Hopefully she didn't hate him. "Sorry!" He shouted at her through the door. "Uh, I'll knock nex' time!"

Noodle sat on her bed with her hands in her hair. Well that was about the second most embarrassing thing that's happened to her. She let out a groan, there was no way he didn't see every mark on her, but if she was lucky, he wouldn't question it. He was still out there talking, she could hear him. He just kept apologizing. Over and over. Was he always this annoying?

"Go away!" She yelled, then shoved her face into her pillow. She was frustrated, she was still so tired, and sore, and the cramps starting in her lower stomach meant she was going to have to deal with another issue for a few days. Maybe she could get away with hiding in her room for a while again. She didn't want to have to leave the safety of her little den at all, she could go without food for a few days, she had water bottles, she could basically live in her room. Except for the whole 'needing the bathroom every now and then' anyway.

"Awlrigh'... Uh, I'll jus' leave your phone out here." She let out a sigh when she hear how upset he sounded. "Oh, uh, tha' Roselyn girl called for you. Jus' though' I'd let you know." She whined into the pillow, before putting on some clothes and opening the door.

2-D held her phone out to her, and she took it from him. "Arigatō..." She muttered, and after a moment added. "I'm sorry..."

"S'awlrigh', love. You've been a bi' on edge la'ley." He ruffled her messy hair. "S'ides, I did jus' kinda barge in on ya. I'm lucky you didn't kill me." He gave her a smile, and she nodded a little in return. "Anyway, you probably wanna call her back, so I'm gonna... go ge' some food. You wan' anyfin'?"

Noodle seemed to think for a minute, before simply shaking her head and closing her door. 2-D let out a sigh, then made his way down to the kitchen where Russel and Murdoc were, talking about the band's upcoming concert. It wasn't going to be big, and there would be probably three or four other bands but Murdoc never refused an opertunity to play live. The singer threw some bread in the toaster and collapsed into one of the free chairs, listening to the other men talk.

"I'm just sayin' I think we should cancel..." Russel said. "Noodle isn't in any mental state to play a concert-"

"We can't cancel, it's tomorrow! Besides, she'll be fine. She did a full concert after Plastic Beach, she can do an hour long set list now. We'll leave right after." The bassist retorted. "Are you saying you don't have faith that she can do this?"

"I'm saying, she's got issues that need to get addressed! Back me up here, 'D!" The drummer looked at 2-D, who blinked. He didn't want to be dragged into this argument.

"How 'bou' you jus' ask her?" He suggested after a moment. "She's an adul', Russ, she knows if she can play a concer' or no'."

"Thank you, Dents." Murdoc smirked, and stood. "I'll go ask her."

"I'm comin' with you, gotta make sure you don't bullshit." Russel stood as well, and the two went up to Noodle's room.

2-D smiled a little. He knew Murdoc would be pissed if she said she didn't want to play, but he had faith that she'd do what was best for herself.

"I told you to keep your stupid phone with you, what the hell are you doin' leavin' it in your brother's room?!" Noodle scrunched her nose, holding the phone away from her ear. She had called Roselyn, and now she was regretting it. At least the yelling somewhat woke her up. "You stupid fucking slag I should-" The guitarist's attention was ripped from the insult when there was a knock on her door. She couldn't get a damn minute today, could she? "-Are you listening to me you daft cow?!"

"Noodle?"

She sighed, it was Murdoc. "Hold that thought..." She muttered, getting a shout of anger from the other girl as she got up and left her room, staring at the bassist and drummer in the hall.

"Hey, luv." Murdoc smiled. "So, remember that concert we have tomorrow?" Noodle almost smacked herself. Fuck, that's right they had a gig to play, how did she forget that? They booked it about two months ago and they had all be excited for it at the time. Not wanting to seem dumb, she gave a nod. "Russ is concerned that you aren't okay enough to play. But you're old enough. You can make your own choices, and I think you'd know if you could play or not." She knew where this was going. "Do you think you can play?"

Noodle sniffed. On one hand, there was no way. She hadn't touched her guitar in weeks, she didn't even know what songs they were going to play at this thing. She wasn't ready in any way shape or form, and he expected her to play in front of thousands of people?

On the other, she knew it would disappoint everyone if she didn't. Not just fans, but her band members as well, and she didn't want that guilt. She didn't want to be a disappointment. She didn't want to let everyone down.

After the pause of silence, she gave another nod, signaling she'd be willing to play.

"Atta girl!" Murdoc roughly put his arm around her shoulders, causing her to tense a little. "I told ya, Russ!"

Russel shook his head, and looked at the tired eyes of their young guitarist. "If you're sure..." A third nod. "Alright. But we're comin' home right after." He glared at Murdoc, who kept that grin on his face as he pushed past the drummer. He looked back to the guitarist, who was slinking back into her room. "We're gettin' pizza, I'll save you some, a'ight?"

She stopped, then let out a sigh through her nose. "Don't bother..." Was all she responded with, before shutting herself in her room again. After a minute, she heard Russel leave and sat down on her bed, holding her phone back up to her ear. "I'm back..."

"Good, where was I..."

Noodle gave another sigh, staring off into space. "I'm a stupid slag."


	5. Chapter 5

"You're on in five, Gorillaz."

Noodle kept her head low, leaning over her guitar and making sure it was in tune. Of course it was, it had been for about an hour now, but it was keeping her mind distracted from the nagging in her head. She didn't understand, she was never nervous before a show. She didn't get stage fright, or performance anxiety, or anything like that. She never had before, anyway, what made this time so different? Maybe Russel was right, she didn't have the mental stability to play right now. But she didn't want to let Murdoc or 2-D or anyone down. She could push through it.

Just deal with it.

Nothing ever bothers her, she's such a strong girl.

SNAP

The guitarist jumped a little in her seat, and looked down at her guitar. She had gotten so lost in though, she tightened the B string too much. She broke the fucking string, like an idiot. Noodle could feel her lip quiver, and blinked tears away. This was nothing to cry over, she could play a different guitar, so why did this make her feel so bad? Why did this little mistake make her feel like a failure? She didn't know, and with a shaky breath she set the guitar aside and picked up her spare.

"Three minutes!"

She could hear the boys talking with each other, but didn't really listen to anything they were saying. Not that any of it was directed at her anyway. She glanced at her phone when it buzzed, all it displayed was the message "Come see me after, let me know how you did", and she felt her stomach tighten. She felt like she was screwed whether she was good, or bad.

She took a deep breath, dried her eyes, and stood, watching Murdoc grab his bass. She saw 2-D give her a thumbs up, and Russel give a reassuring smile, but it didn't help any of what she was feeling. Her gut was already murdering her, and now she had to do an hour long set list without breaking down.

Oh God, she just wanted to die.

"Alright, boys, let's go." Murdoc grinned, heading onto the stage with the others trailing behind him.

Noodle figured she could do this. She'd done it before, in font of a lot more people, she would be fine. At least, that's what she told herself. Then she saw the crowed, and immediately regretted saying yes. She felt a wave of terror, and was lost in her mind for a minute, staring blankly at the crowd. Whatever 2-D was yelling into the mic was going over her head.

"...5/4!"

She blinked, and looked at 2-D, who gave her a nod. There was an awkward silence where she stared at the guitar strings, but eventually caught on. She had to play now, she had to play 5/4.

She could do that.

As awkward as it started, she eventually got into the beat of things. They were mostly playing earlier songs, and she made it half way through the concert before her guitar strap button decided to break. The instrument landed on the stage with a loud BANG, and the rest of the guys stopped playing and turned to her. Now, this wasn't the first time she had something like this happen during a show, but the situation felt like a punch to the face.

She looked up at the sea of people, who had all started muttering at this point. Her shaky hand let go of the guitar's neck, allowing the rest of it to hit the stage floor. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes again. The wave of terror was back, but it was somehow worse, and all she could hear was people muttering. Probably about her. About how she screwed up.

Why did she do that?

2-D placed his hand on the guitarist's shoulder, concern growing when her breathing got faster. It was horrifying, like she was stuck. Noodle's body had gone stiff, and he was scared she was going to completely pass out, but she didn't. No, instead she ran off stage, past the security, and right out the door of the building. She just needed to breath. She needed a break.

She needed some kind of release.

Meanwhile, the guys were still up on stage, and 2-D turned his head to the microphone. What was he supposed to do? He looked at the stage hands, who were talking amongst themselves, then to Murdoc, who was a mix of shock and completely pissed, then to Russel, who was debating going after her. None of them knew how to handle this situation. After a long pause of no one doing anything, 2-D took the mic.

"Sorry, we're gonna have to cu' our performance a lil shor' tonigh'..." He stated, getting a glare from Murdoc. "Fanks for commin ou' anyway, hope you li'e the ofer two bands tha're gonna play. Have a goodnigh'." With that he picked up Noodle's guitar and walked off stage, with Murdoc and Russel behind him.

"I can't believe this." The bassist muttered. "I can't believe she just-"

"Don't you start!" Russel pointed a finger at him. "Don't you dare go blamin' her for this! She had a panic attack or somethin', that's not her fault!"

"Oh, piss off-"

2-D could feel the migraine coming as Russel and Murdoc started shouting at one another. He didn't want to hear this, so he grabbed his jacket and stepped outside. He'd let the two have their fight, he was going to have a cigarette. He lit the fag as the door shut, and a second later heard soft sniffles from around the corner of the building.

"Noods?" He poked his head around the corner, and found her sitting with her knees to her chest, head resting on her arms while she let out small sniffles and hiccups. If she knew he was there, she didn't acknowledge him. Silently, he took a seat beside her, and pulled her into a side hug. "Don' cry, love. S'only a gig, no' a big deal." He tried to reassure her, rubbing her arm.

Noodle looked up at 2-D, her eyes red and eyeliner smudged and running down her face. She opened her mouth like she was going to say something, but ended up just staring at him.

There was a long silence, and 2-D was surprised when Noodle was the one to break it. "Is Murdoc pissed?" She had her head turned back to staring forward, leaning more against the singer.

Her voice was quiet and raspy, and he frowned. "Yeah, bu' he'll ge' over it. You're more impor'an'."

She nodded slightly, then let out a sigh, wishing she could believe that. After another long silence, she spoke up again. "2-D...?"

"Yes, love?"

"Have you ever hurt yourself?"

"I hurt m'self all the time. Las' week I tripped an' fell down the stairs. Jus' this mornin' I ran righ' into my bedroom door." Now that he thought about it, he really needed to start watching what he did more closely.

Noodle almost laughed, then shook her head. "I mean on purpose..."

"Oh..." The singer looked down at her. "No' in a long time."

"But... You have?"

He gave a nod in response. "You were jus' lil back then, think you walked in on me righ' af'er I did it once. Told you it was a paper cu' or somefin' li'e tha'."

She shrugged, vaguely remembering that interaction. It probably happened when she was stone tired, because it was a fuzzy memory. "Why did you do it?"

"Hm... Lot's of reasons. I had jus' los' both my eyes, my job, go' into a band wif an abusive bass player, my girlfrien' at the time wen' an' snogged him in the toilets... It was a lo' and I di'n' handle it very well." There was a heavy silence. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason..." She lied.

"Noodle-"

"There you two are!" The pair turned their heads towards Russel, who was standing with his hands in his pockets. "C'mon, we're headin' home. Gonna get some food on the way back." He grabbed both by the hands and pulled them to their feet. "Let's go before Murdoc leaves us here." The drummer lead them bother towards the vehicle.

2-D glanced back at Noodle, who was trailing a little ways behind, hands shoved in the pockets of the baggy sweater she kept wearing. Now that he thought about it, when was the last time he saw her wearing short sleeves? At first he thought it may have been the chilly weather, but after that conversation he wasn't so sure anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been a few days since the indecent at the concert. It wasn't any big loss, they still got paid for what time they were on, and some copy-paste "hope things get better" bullshit. Murdoc's grudge over the whole thing didn't last very long, though he hadn't seen Noodle since they got back, so he never got the chance to apologize. Not that it meant anything to her anyway. After the countless apologies, she just shook them off and said something like "It's fine" every time. There wasn't even a point to it.

It was getting late when Noodle came in through the front door, hanging off the arm of a slightly taller girl. The boys all peered into the entrance way too look at this intruder. She was blonde, blue-eyes, a very typical looking all American girl, maybe a year younger than Noodle, pulling the stumbling guitarist into the house. It had started raining at some point so the two were basically soaked.

"Oh, 'ello." The girl smiled, and 2-D's eyes suddenly narrowed. He knew that voice. "Uh, sorry, suppose I should 'ave knocked first...." She smiled awkwardly at them.

"What happened to her?" Murdoc pointed to the dazed Noodle.

The girl looked to her, then back up at Murdoc and shrugged. "Too much drink. Didn' know she was a ligh'weigh' when we went out. Inn't that right, pet?" She rubbed Noodle's back as the guitarist spit out some nonsense in Japanese.

"And you are...?"

"Roselyn. Um, Noodle's not-so-secret-anymore girlfriend." The blonde answered, and 2-D decided to step in. 

"Well, fanks fo' bringin' her back, we really should ge' her up to bed." He stated, taking his now basically limp sister from the other girl. "You should ge' home, too."

"Actually," Roselyn started and she traded the girl off to the taller man. "I really hate to be a bother, but could I stay here? Jus' till the rain stops, then I'll be gone. Promise. It's jus' really stormy and I don't exactly have a way home besides walkin'."

The boys looked from one another, back to the girl who gave them an innocent smile. 2-D didn't buy it, this seemed a little suspicious, but eventually Russel shrugged. "Sure. I guess... you can stay in Noodle's room for the night." After a moment of silence he added. "Just no funny business."

"Of course. Thanks."

Both 2-D and Murdoc shared glances. They didn't like this girl, but they couldn't kick her out now. The singer headed to Noodle's room, Roselyn trailing behind the two. He didn't want her being in the same room as Noodle, never mind being alone with her when she was drunk to the point of being... like this.

"So, what's your name?" Roselyn asked, eyebrow raised.

"2-D."

"Oh, you're the one I talked to on the phone...." Her smile faltered a bit. Like she knew 2-D was suspicious of her. "Nice to meet you in person. Wish it could have been under better circumstances, though."

"Righ'...." He sniffed, opening the door to Noodle's room and laying the confused guitarist in bed. He ruffled her hair a little. "Be'er sleep this off, luv."

"Toochiii...." She loosely grabbed his hand. "Hanareruna...." She muttered. All these years, you'd think he'd learn a little Japanese, but whatever she said flew over his head.

He thought he heard a huff from the other girl, but ignored it. "You can scream if you need me, aw'righ'?" He smiled, kissed her forehead, then left the room. 

Roselyn watched him leave, before shutting the door with a soft 'click'. "You've got a weird family, luv...." She mutter, looking over at the half conscious girl on the bed. "Makes this a li'l more interesting, no?" Her head moved around the room. "This place is a fuckin' mess...."

"Mmm...." Noodle glanced from her girlfriend to the ceiling. In truth, she wasn't really sure what was going on. She was just incredibly tired, her body was heavy.

"Hey, you're not goin' to fall asleep, are you?" Roselyn moved herself on to the other gril's stomach, straddling the guitarist. She grabbed Noodle's face with one hand, causing a small squeak. "I didn't give you that much, don't you dare pass out." She kept her voice low, admittedly a little paranoid of one of the guys being outside the door. "If you do you'll wake up with a lot worse than hickies."

Noodle swallowed hard, jarred a little by the threat. Was this how 2-D felt around Murdoc? She knew the singer was, or at least had been, in a similar situation (well, minus the whole sexual side of things). She witnessed it a lot as a kid. 2-D would get beat up, hit with various things, usually a bottle, insulted, and yelled at by the bassist almost every day. Sometimes Russel put a stop it, sometimes Noodle tried, but usually got pushed aside. Still, after everything, the singer almost never fought back, he just tried to hide.

She didn't understand at the time, but she did now. This girl scared her, in a much different way than she had felt before. Noodle wasn't some defenseless child, but she was getting what she deserved, right? She couldn't fight back now if she wanted to, anyway.

So, as her personal assailant roughly brought their lips together, her eyes wandered to the ceiling. Maybe this time she could escape into her own head.

2-D's smile slowly faded as he made his way back downstairs, and heard Russel and Murdoc arguing. Again. Something didn't feel right, he didn't know what, but his gut was telling him something was off.

"We can't just assume this girl is bad, Mudz." The drummer stated, arms cross as the other let out a huff.

"We can't assume she's _good _!"__

__"I think Noodle's a little too smart to date some asshole."_ _

__"Love makes you do stupid things, mate! She could be brainwashed or something!"_ _

__"I fink Murdoc's righ'...." 2-D cut in, tapping his finger tips together. "Maybe no' brainwashed bu'.... I don' fink tha' girl is very nice." After a moment of thinking, he continued. "I answered Noodle's phone once when Roselyn called her. She di'n' let me say nofin', and though' I was Noods, an' she sounded mad.... Said they had a figh' bu'...." He trailed off in thought. "She also said Noodle was 'fick in the head', which is jus' rude."_ _

__"That's not a reason to assume she's a bad person, 'D." Russel shook his head. "And Noodle can be a little dumb, sometimes...." He didn't really like saying that, but it was true, the girl didn't always think straight before doing things, and she did forget stuff. "But who isn't.... Anyway, we should give her the benefit of the doubt. Innocent 'til proven guilty and all that."_ _

__"Well I don' trust her." The singer crossed his arms._ _

__"I don't, either." Murdoc cut in again. "Somethin's off."_ _

__"Look, it's late, why don't we just all go to bed. She'll be gone by tomorrow, and I'm sure everythin's fine." He watched the two other men mutter before starting up the stairs to their rooms. This left Russel alone to think. For a moment, he considered checking on the girls, but eventually decided against it._ _

__After all, it was only one night. What could happen?_ _


	7. Chapter 7

Roselyn wasn't quite sure when Noodle actually passed out, but after she had noticed, her desire to continue her fun faded. She let out a frustrated huff, blowing a stray hair away from her face, and after a moment smacked the unconscious girl's cheek, but it didn't do much other than leave a nasty red mark. Seemed the Asian's body had given up on trying to stay awake entirely, as any other assaults on Noodle's sleeping form went unnoticed. Some would think it would be the best time for her to continue her perversions, but it just wasn't the same.

She preferred seeing the fear in her lover's eyes. It was much more enticing.

The blonde exhaled through her nose, looking over the sleeping body. She moved Noodle's hair away from her face, and momentarily traced the streaks of eyeliner that had appeared thanks to the guitarist's quiet sobbing. She then moved to trace the bruises left around her neck, and the cuts on her arms that seemed to tie it all together in a nice sad little bow. She'd turned this once obnoxiously happy and energetic girl into a quiet broken mess, and it was beautiful.

She switched off the light before slinking back into the bed next to Noodle. Roselyn wrapped her arms around the other's body, and buried her face into the crook of the sleeping girl's neck. A small smile form, and to any outsider they would have seemed like a normal pair of girlfriends. With a sigh, she pulled the blankets over them, and muttered a quiet "Goodnight, Kitten." into Noodle's ear before falling asleep with her.

2-D was one of the first ones up that morning. He had spent most of the night staring at the wall, worry plaguing his mind. It was the only reason he was actually awake, otherwise he'd sleep until noon. His trek down the hall stopped when he passed Noodle's bedroom door. For a moment, he thought about checking in on the two girls, for his own peace of mind if nothing else. But, just as he went to place his hand on the doorknob, it opened, and he was met with the blonde hair of Roselyn. They stared at each other for a moment, before she broke the silence.

"Uh... Mornin', 2-D." She offered a friendly smiled, but he didn't return it.

"Wha' are you doin' up?" He questioned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh, I have a cat and if I don't get home he'll claw my furniture looking for food."

2-D raised an eyebrow, but nodded slightly. "I see..."

An awkward silence fell between the two and Roselyn moved past the tall singer. "Right... It was nice meeting you." There wasn't a response, so she just let herself out, muttering something like "Fuckin' creep." under her breath as she stepped outside. 2-D let out a huff, then turned his attention back to the now ajar door.

"Noodle? Are you up?" He lightly knocked on the door as he peeked into the dark room. The light from the hall and revealed a tired and confused Noodle sitting up in bed. Her head turned towards the singer, and in a raspy voice let out some incomprehensible Japanese. "You feelin'... Are you hungover?" She lazily blinked at him, her mind trying to process his question, then she shook her head. The singer clicked his tongue. "Awlrigh'... Ge' dressed an' I'll make you breakfas' if you wan'."

She nodded slowly, and 2-D shut the door to let her sort herself out. His eyes narrowed a little as he thought to himself. No one could come home shit-faced and wake up not hungover. It just wasn't a thing that happened, not in his experience anyway. So, unless Noodle was some how immune to hangovers, she couldn't have been drunk. Well, maybe she could, but not to such an extreme extent. While he thought this over, he pulled a box of cereal down from the shelf and poured a bowl for himself and Noodle.

He set the bowls on the table just as the guitarist trudged her way into the kitchen dressed in a loose sweater and a pair of shorts. The singer wasn't sure if the clothing had always been so loose, or if it was a result from lack of food. Noodle let out a yawn and slumped into the chair as 2-D slid a spoon over and joined her at the table. She examined the cereal for a moment, before taking mouthful and eating. Her stomach groaned slightly, welcoming the food. It wasn't a lot, but at this point her body would take what it could get.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, but as 2-D stared at her, he took note of the angry red mark across her cheek. "Wha' happened there?" He asked, using his hand to tilt her head so he could look t it a little more. She only shrugged, and moved her head away. "You didn' have tha' when you came in las' nigh'..." He muttered.

Noodle's chewing slowed, and she looked over at her brother, who now had his head down as he ate. 2-D had always been a little dull in the head, but he wasn't completely stupid. He was staring to piece things together, and she knew that. She set her spoon down and scratched the back of her head. She didn't remember being hit in the face by anyone, but last night as a whole was so fuzzy in her memory. Somehow, not remembering the nights events scared her a lot more than knowing everything that was done to her.

"...How'd you mee' this girl, anyway?" 2-D voice cut through her thoughts, and she turned her focus to his question.

Another shrug as she twirled her spoon on the kitchen table. "Music store..." She muttered.

"She plays music?" His eyebrows raised in surprise. The blonde girl didn't look the type to play any kind of instrument. Except maybe a recorder.

The guitarist nodded a little, taking another mouthful of cereal. "Hofner Bass. She's... really good..."

"Be'er than Murdoc?"

Noodle snorted. In her own opinion, no one was as good at bass as Murdoc. The man acted like he came out of the womb attached to the damn instrument, and really he may as well have. But she also figured her opinion was a little bias, considering she grew up listening to the man play all the time. "No way..." Silence fell over them once again, and Noodle, now finished her bowl, set it in the sink along with the spoon.

"Roselyn have any pe's?" 2-D suddenly questioned, he was really only asking to confirm the girl's reason for leaving.

"Pets...?" Again, she turned her attention back to her blue haired brother, and a small smile made its way onto her face. "She has an adorable brown tabby..." She seemed to lose herself in thought about the cat.

Roselyn's cat was the one thing Noodle always looked forward to when she went to the blonde's apartment. He was always so friendly towards the guitarist, he was like a small fuzzy beacon of light among the dark. Much to the relief of the Japanese woman, Roselyn never abused the animal. She always claimed she never had reason to, simply stating that "cats are cats, they do stupid stuff, no big deal", and Noodle fully agreed. She had always wanted a kitten, but by the time she had reunited with the boys for the second (or maybe it was the third) time, she gave up asking.

The singer nodded, watching as the guitarist sat back down at the table, playing with the end of the sweater sleeves. "I'm a lil surprised you aren' hungover, Noods. You were shi' faced las' nigh' when you go' home."

Noodle blinked, raising an eyebrow. She didn't drink a whole lot last night, not that she remembered anyway. She didn't like getting drunk, it left her feeling out of control, not that she was ever in control when it came to being with Roselyn. "I didn't..." She ran a hand through her knotted hair, chewing on her bottom lip. "I had... two drinks..." Her eyes narrowed, then she buried it in her hands as realization donged on her.

It seemed to hit 2-D as well, because he stood from the table. "Tha' girl is dead-"

"2-D..."

"I'm gonna tell the guys an'-"

"Please don't." She grabbed his arm and pulled him back down into his chair. "It was a public bar, anyone could have put something in my drinks. It's fine..."

He could hardly believe what he was hearing. "It's no' fine, Noodle! You go' drugged, how are you okay wif tha'?"

"I-I'm not... Just... It happened, okay? Don't tell Russel and Murdoc..." She begged. In truth, she was scared of what the other boys would think if they found out. It was bad enough 2-D knew, he probably thought she was stupid. What idiot gets themselves drugged? She squeezed his arm tightly. "Please..."

2-D let out a small sigh. She couldn't really be expecting him to just sweep this under the rug. When he looked down at her, he saw the pleading eyes of a child. He took hold of her hands and squeezed them. "I won' tell."

She smiled, and thanked him, before standing and heading up to go shower before the other two woke up. The singer leaned back, and scratched the back of his hand from nerves. He felt horrible. When the other two eventually trudged into the kitchen with a muttered "Mornin'." towards 2-D instantly caught their attention.

"I have to tell you somefin'..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, uh, if you wanna see kind of a visual of what Roselyn basically looks like, I posted a picture of her on my Tumblr; depressed-gay-microwave. So.. yeah. That's all. Have a good day/night/whatever.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm so sorry this took so long to get back to. I had a lot of stuff just going on with holidays and suffered some major writers block. But I'm back and hopefully the next chapter won't take a month.

Locking herself in the bathroom was starting to become a bad habit. Usually, she would do it because she wanted to purge herself of whatever she had eaten earlier, but her urge to draw blood was greater than her sick stomach. She turned on the sink, pressed the knife to her forearm, and cut a long horizontal line across the skin. It stung, but pain was better than nothing. Pain was better than the haunting feeling of emptiness that had been plaguing her mind for a while now. She cut another line, chewing her lower lip as she watched blood rise to the surface, trying to scab over the wound already.

As she went to switch hands, a bang on the door made her jump. "Hold on..." She muttered, yanking the sleeve down to cover her arm. The blood would stain the inside, but the thick material of the sweater should keep it from bleeding through completely. Another knock came, and she let out an audible groan of annoyance. Shutting off the sink, Noodle opened the door slightly, only to be met with the sight of spiky blue hair and pitch black eyes. "2-D... Do you need the bathroom? I'll just be a minute..."

"Uh, no, luv. Russ, Muds, and I wanna have a talk wif you."

She eyed him for a moment. He was scratching the back of his hand, something he normally did when he was anxious. Green eyes narrowed. "About what?"

"Jus'... come downstairs when you're done, luv." She watched the singer turn and head back down the steps before shutting the door and rolling her sleeve up once again.

Once her arm had been cleaned, and the blood stopped flowing, she made her way down to the living room where the boys were sat, chatting amongst themselves. She couldn't help but feel a wave of anxiety hit as she entered the room and the noises stopped. They watched her quietly stroll over to a lone arm chair and cross her legs as she sat. Noodle stared back at them, uneased by the looks she was getting from her family. They seemed concerned, which was nothing new as of late, but all of them staring at her made her feel like she had done something wrong. Had she? Did she do something in her drugged up state? Was she in trouble?

The silence in the room was getting to her. Why was no one saying anything? They were the ones who wanted to talk.

"Alright, there's no point in beatin' around the bush." It was Russel who truly broke the silence after five long minutes. "Noodle, are you depressed?" The question pulled the guitarist from her thoughts, and she had to take a moment to process it.

"Wha...?"

"We've jus'... we no'iced you're no' actin' li'e yourself." 2-D cut in. "An' if you are depressed or somefin'-"

"I'm not depressed!" Noodle shook her head, hands running through her messy purple hair. "I'm fine. I've been tired, is all..." The looks she received told her they didn't believe that, and her expression faltered. "I'm fine..." She repeated a little softer, more for herself than the guys.

"Noodle, we've gone days without seeing you leave your room." Russel pointed out.

"I'm out of my room right now." Was the muttered reply.

"Everytime I see you ea' you get sick after. Tha's assumin' you ea' at all." The singer stated, tapping his finger tips together.

"Well, uh..." Noodle clicked her tongue, she didn't really have an excuse for that. She could blame a stomach flu but considering it's been months by this point that wasn't believible. Her gaze shifted down and her hands played with the bottom hem of her sweater.

"You've lost a lot of weight, and any time you do go out you come back lookin' worse." The drummed added. "Whatever you're doin' to yourself isn't healthy. We're worried."

"Yeah, so tell us what's going on!" Murdoc cut in once again. The tone of his voice was probably more aggressive than he meant it to, which wasn't helping the anxiety looming over the guitarist's head.

Noodle let out a silent whine, stare fixated on her hands as she started picking the skin around her fingernails. When had that started? "N-Nothing's going on..." She quietly responded.

"Bullshit!"

"Murdoc." Russel glared at the bassist, before turning his attention back to the guitarist. "We can't help if you don't tell us what's goin' on, baby girl."

"I..." She paused, and looked up at the three grown men staring back at her. She should have told them the truth right then, but she feared what they would think. She didn't want them to pity her. "I dunno. I've just been stressed." She watched 2-D's mouth twitch into a frown for second.

"Stressed abou' wha'?" The singer questioned. The two locked eyes and shared a blank stare for a solid minute. 2-D could see the youngest of them thinking, trying to find a believable excuse for her behavior. They both knew she didn't have one.

"Just..." She wanted to sink into a hole and disappear forever. Her eyes moved to stare at something else, anything that wasn't a set of eyes. "I don't know." She finally answered with a shrug. "Okay? I don't know. Everything's so... exhausting." Noodle scratched her head, and sniffed. "I'm just tired, and stressed, and you guys can't help me with this, so just drop it."

Arms crossed, 2-D let out a slight sigh. "Stop lyin' to us, luv..."

"I'm not-"

"He told us you were drugged, Noodle." Murdoc finally cut in. A moment of stiff silence passed, and the guitarist glared at the nervous male. "What else has this girl done to you?"

"Nothing! She hasn't done anything, and even if she did drug me, I don't have proof." Noodle ran her hands through her hair.

"Why are you even with her? She's clearly a manipulative bitch!"

A pause, and a hard glare from both sides. Eventually, the guitarist stood. "I don't have to sit here and listen to this..." She stated, and started to leave the room, but she knew he was right. A hand grabbed her injured arm, and she gave a small hiss of pain, yanking it back. "Don't touch me!" She spun around and glared at all three of the men. "Don't ever grab me like that, just leave me alone!" The Japanese woman inhaled sharply as her vision blurred with frustrated tears. "Stay out of my life!"

They watched the emotional mess that was their guitarist storm out of the living room. It was silent until they hear the slam of either the bathroom or her bedroom door. 2-D sighed and slumped onto the couch, eyes staring up at the ceiling.

Murdoc finally broke the quiet with an annoyed grunt. "Well that failed." He huffed, arms crossing over his chest. "Nice plan, Faceache."

"Shu' up..." The singer glared, then returned his gaze to the ceiling as the bassist headed for the front door. "I did'n' say it would work..."

"Where are you goin'?" Russel questioned the oldest band member, who gave a sharp toothed smiled.

"Off to have a talk with my daughter's girlfriend." Was the reply before Murdoc left the house.


	9. Chapter 9

Murdoc never thought he would find himself in this situation. Rushing down the sidewalk, pushing past other pedestrians, on his way to beat the shit out of some blonde twenty-something. All because someone hurt his kid.

Well, she's wasn't a kid, not anymore, and she sure as hell wasn't his. But she was... something. He liked to consider her his daughter, in a way. As if he had any hand in raising her from a confused eight year old, into a confused, but now badass, twenty-something, not that he ever made an effort to really be a part of her life anyway. Maybe he should have. Maybe if he had been a bigger part of her life this wouldn't be happening. Not that it really mattered now.

A thought crossed his mind when he was a good distance to town, and that was the fact he had no clue where Roselyn even lived. With a groan and a few choice words, he considered just asking around. Or just going home and prying the information from Noodle. Maybe he'd just get lucky and catch her walking out of a store or something.

This was going to be a long day....

Knock knock.

"Noodle? It's me. Can I come in?"

Russel heard a groan from inside the young woman's room. 2-D spent the better part of the last hour and a half since Murdoc left trying to talk with her to no avail, so Russel decided he'd give it a shot. He didn't expect her to spill her gut out to him, really, but maybe, at the very least, they'd have a moment and just sit.

They used to do that a lot.

He was about to turn away from the door, when it slowly creaked open. He smiled at the face of smudged eyeliner and messy hair as it allowed him to enter the dark room. Noodle shut the door and took her seat on the bed, pulling a pillow into her arms to rest her chin on as Russel took a seat near the end. There was a long silence between them, neither knowing really what to say.

"...'m sorry...." Noodle eventually sighed, burying her face in the pillow.

Russel, taken aback by the random apology, pressed his lips into a thin line. "What for? You didn't do anythin' wrong, Noods." He didn't get a response. "Look, you're right, we shouldn't have tried to pry into your love life like that. The truth is we're just really worried about you. It feels like ever since you met this girl you've done a complete one-eighty on us. You don't seem happy, and maybe Roselyn isn't as horrible as we assume she is-"

The guitarist interrupted. "Russ-"

He continued. "-but I want you to know that we'll love you no matter who your with. You deserve the best life has to offer." Noodle let out a pained whine, and the drummer's face took on a more concerned look. "You alright?"

"I think...." Whatever she planned on saying was cut short when the guitarist simultaneously vomited on the floor and fell off the bed with a dull thud.

Russel jumped up at the site, and for a moment he didn't know how to react. The young woman looked like she was going to have a seizure, or something very close to it. Her fingers twitched and her face contorted. When he did finally come back to his senses, he screamed for 2-D to get his keys.

Noodle's vision was unfocused, her hearing wasn't much better. Everything was muffled, it felt so slow. Is this what dying was like? It was terrifying, and she suddenly wished she hadn't taken 2-D's painkillers. She felt Russel pick her up, in a way similar to when she was a kid and needed comfort. He was talking, but she couldn't hear him. He yelled, probably for 2-D. Things started to melt together. Blue hair, panic, outside, car door. Someone else held onto her now. Most likely the singer, as he couldn't drive.

She didn't know how right she was at the time. 2-D held her tensed twitching body while Russel broke several traffic laws driving to the closest hospital. His heart was racing. Neither of them knew how they could help, so the singer just held her tight and hummed a tune. He didn't know if she could even hear him, but he figured maybe it would keep her on this side of the void.

Goddamn it, they weren't gonna lose her. Not like this.

"There you are you blonde bitch!" It felt like it had taken him forever, but he found her. By the will of God, or Satan, or convenient story telling, Murdoc finally caught up with Roselyn.

The blonde in question turned her head, one eyebrow raised at the bassist. She squinted at him. "What do you want?" Murdoc had murder in his eyes, to which she just clicked her tongue. "Well? C'mon, I haven't got all day to stare at your ugly face." She crossed her arms.

He should have killed her in the moment when he had a chance. "I'm gonna tell you this once. You need to stay away from Noodle."

Roselyn smiled a little, arms crossing over her chest. "That all? You hunted me down in the middle of London to tell me to stop seein' my own girlfriend. I'll tell you now, that isn't gonna happen. She's an adult, she can make her own choices."

"Y'know, with the shit you did to her-"

She interrupted him with a scoff. "I didn't touch her."

"Don't bullshit me, kid. I know exactly what your kind do. Break down some dolt and then toss 'em aside like nothing happened." Murdoc pointed an accusing finger at the blonde. "You're nothin' but a goddamn parasite."

"Ouch, that hurts." The statement leaked sarcasm. "You can't act like you haven't used people before. Aren't two of your band members basically kidnap victims?"

It was his turn to scoff. "That's different."

She wrinkled her nose at him. "Anything I've done to her is justified. She asked for it." The smug look she gained cause Murdoc to deliver a satisfying punch to the blonde's face. She let out a surprised cry as she fell back onto the pavement, which caused some bystanders to turn their heads.

He paid them no mind. "If I ever see you touch my kid again, I'll fucking end your miserable life, you slag!" There was a moment where the two just glared at one another. Roselyn held her bleeding nose, and the only thing to cut the tense silence was the sound of Murdoc's phone going off.

Frustrated, the satanist answered. "I'm in the middle of something! What do you want, Faceache?"

Roselyn watched the bassist's expression change. He looked less pissed off and more concerned. It made her curious. She wanted to know what was going on. Slowly, she brought herself to her feet. Murdoc hung up, pointed at her, and sternly went "This isn't over.", then he turned on his heal and started sprinting like his life depended on it. For a moment, she considered following, but she wasn't an idiot. At this point in time, she'd leave it be.

After all, she could just pry the information out of Noodle later.


	10. Chapter 10

It was quiet while they waited, save for a baby crying somewhere else in the waiting room. 2-D was anxious, legs bouncing as he moved his fingers in a way only the anxiety could make him. Murdoc was no better, pacing around as if that helped. The man never liked hospitals, nothing good ever came out of them, he figured. Russel was the only one of them who seemed surprisingly calm. Now, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't scared. Hell, he was probably the most worried at the moment, but panic was not what they needed. It wouldn't help anyone if he was losing his shit.

Finally, 2-D's squeaky voice broke through. "D'ya think she's-"

"She's not dead, Faceache." Murdoc interrupted, and the singer shrunk a little into his chair.

"I was gonna say alrigh'..."

The bassist growled, and raised his hand to smack the blue haired man, only to be cut short by Russel's steely glare. Murdoc muttered something under his breath about getting 2-D later. It went ignored by the other two parties, and they fell under silence again. They stayed that way, until they were approached by a nurse. She gave them a sad smile, and the drummer spoke for the first time in hours.

"Is she okay?"

"She'll be fine, Mister Hobbs." The nurse explained, clipboard in hand. "Your daughter seems to have taken a bottle of particularly strong anti depressants. We pumped her stomach and gave her activated charcoal, so it should be able to leave her system without any other mishap." She glanced at her clipboard. "She should be fine to go home with you by tomorrow."

Russel raised an eyebrow. "Really? You don't think she should be supervised for a few days or something? She just tried to kill herself."

"We've done what we can, Mister Hobbs. Your daughter has no prior record of drug use or overdose, and she isn't diagnosed with any form of mental illness." A pause. "We are perscribing her with antidepressants. She'll have to take a pill once a day, and see how it goes from there."

The nurse tore the perscription from her clipboard and handed it over to Russel. "You can pick up the first at the front desk."

"That's all fine and dandy." Murdoc spoke up, hands on his hips. "But can we go see her yet? Feels like I've been waiting an enternity."

"Of course, Mister Niccals, I'm sure she'll be glad to see some familiar faces."

Noodle felt like she had been hit by a car. She was groggy, and for a long time didn't move or make noise. She just focused on breathing, there wasn't much else she could do. For hours she just listened to people walk in and out of the room. Sometimes nurses would try and get a response, but for the most part Noodle kept staring at the ceiling.

Eventually, she managed the energy to rub her eyes, which gradually turned into a stretch. Her bones cracked, her neck cramped, but it felt so good to move.

"Hey you, you're finally awake?"

The soft voice scared the shit out of Noodle. The Japanese woman flinched, putting her arms around her stomach. She quickly discovered the voice belonged to a young woman, who was sitting up in the bed parallel to her own. She felt her face flush, honestly Noodle had assumed she was in the room on her own. Now she felt bad for not saying something sooner.

The woman chuckled. "I guess that's a yes."

There was a moment of silence, and Noodle took the time to look at the woman. She was a brunette, Latina girl, with green eyes and short hair styled into a fuax hawk. A broken leg as well, which was probably why she was here in the first place. Noodle, being a little foggy headed still, fixed her stare on the cast.

"It's rude to stare, you know." The lady gave a small smile, and Noodle blinked in surprise. "But I'll let it pass this time since you're just coming back from the dead." She laughed, and Noodle just stared for a good long minute. "Wanna know what happened?" The guitarist nodded. "I was chasing my brother's kid around the park, tripped over the swings and broke my ankle."

Noodle almost laughed. "Sōdesu ka... That sucks..." She muttered, forcing herself to sit. Then, a little louder, she asked, "How do you trip over a swing?"

"Apparently very easily." The lady smiled. "My name's Gina."

"Noodle."

"Like... Ramen Noodles?" The Guitarist snorted, but gave a nod. "That's... a pretty cool name."

The Japanese woman smiled a little, then laid back down on the bed. "Thanks..." Just as she closed her eyes, the room's door swung open and in a flash Noodle was trapped in a bear hug between her bandmates. The guitarist squeaked, brain slowly catching up with events, and soon leaned into the hugs. She probably would of cried if she had the energy to. 2-D was sobbing right near her ear, and while he did his best to keep the hugs and love coming, the boys soon parted. Noodle once again rubbed her eyes, muttering some apologies in Japanese.

"Never do that again!" Murdoc suddenly shouted. "I almost had a heart attack! You're lucky to be alive after that!"

Noodle snorted, and the others watched the man desend into a rant. "Love you, too, Murdoc..."

For a while, everything felt a little more normal. 2-D sat on the end of the bed and him and Noodle played checkers. They had borrowed the game from the common room after quickly getting bored with just sitting around. Murdoc read a magazine while Noodle crushed the singer at the board game and Russel snored in the chair next to him.

"So, how do ya feel, Noods?" 2-D asked, strategically moving one of his pieces.

Noodle shrugged, staring down at the game. "Overall? Fine, I guess... I am alive aren't I?" She smiled slightly, though 2-D didn't find the joke very funny. "I'm fine, trust me." She hummed a little moving her pieces. "I win."

"What?!" The singer pouted. "This game is rigged..."

A snort. "Yes, 2-D, the game was rigged. Just accept you can't play checkers."

"I can! One more go, please!"

The guitarist shook her head, sitting back. "Later, why don't you and Murdoc go find us some food?"

Murdoc, for the first time in a while, looked up from his magazine. "Why do I have to go?"

Noodle shrugged. "2-D might get lost and I don't want to wake Russel. Pleeeease?"

The guitarist pouted, and Murdoc let out a grumpy huff. "Fine. C'mon, Faceache, let's see if we can find a vending machine..." The man reluctantly stood from his chair, and stretched. 2-D grinned, and together the boys ventured out of the room to track down anything semi-edible.

Noodle let out a sigh and sunk further into the bed. She loved the guys but being around them at the moment was incredibly draining. She was exhausted, and sick, and felt like shit. But she was alive.

Which might actually be the worst part about all this.

She was still stuck with her bullshit relationship.

Roselyn would never let her live this down.

"You're family's pretty cool."

Once again, Gina's voice startled the Japanese girl. Actually, Noodle had forgotten all about the other woman. "Uh, thank you...?" The guitarist sat up a little. "Watch out for Murdoc though. He's a real womanizer..."

Gina laughed. "Scrawny green dudes aren't really my type."

Noodle smiled, and pulled her knees to her chest to rest her head on them. "Agreed..." She sighed, keeping her eyes on her roommate. "There are worst people, though."

"Tell me about it..."

The room fell silent for what felt like an hour. The guitarist closed her eyes, taking the time to think. She liked this girl. A lot. It was a shame they'd probably never talk again.

Well, that wasn't true. She could just ask if Gina wanted to meat up a when they weren't both hospitalized. The thought made her heart race, and Noodle decided it was the anxiety talking. The worst Gina could say was no, right?

Or she could laugh in Noodle's face, that would be worse.

The young band member cringed, opening her eyes. The brunette was on her phone. "We, uh..." Gina shifted her attention back to Noodle. "Do you... like... want to hang out?" A short pause. "N-Not that we can now but... Chikushō... I mean, another time we should... arrange a time and... Meet up."

"I think I know what you mean. And my answer is yes, we should hang out." Gina smiled, tearing a piece of scrap paper from a near by notebook and scribbling her number down on it. "Just don't go writing down on the bathroom walls." She chuckled,slipping the paper to the guitarist, who accepted it with a small smile.

The pleasant moment was cut short, however. A much less calming voice sliced through the air. "I've been calling you for an hour!" Blonde hair in pigtails, Roselyn walked across the room and pulled Noodle into a hug. A very tight hug. "I was so worried about you." She gave the young band member a kiss. "What happened, luv?"

Noodle blinked, allowing herself to be held and almost suffocated. "I... My phone is at home... I'm sorry..." The a thought occurred. "How did you.. know I was here?"

"I'm just glad you're okay." The blonde smiled, then rested her chin on Noodle's shoulder. "Try that shit again and I'll gut that blue haired moron..." It was hardly above of whisper, and for a second the guitarist's face reflected her emotions of concern.

She didn't know if Roselyn just wanted to scare her, or if she was serious.

She didn't really want to find out.

"Okay..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm alive. Sorry I take forever to write things lately.  
> Anyway, who else agrees Noodle deserves a long sleep and a good friend?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roselyn's a bitch and Noodle doesn't deserve this.  
> That being said: I guess warning for physical abuse and Roselyn just... generally assaulting our babe Noods.

"We should go for a walk." Roselyn remarked, pulling herself away from the guitarist. "It'll do you good to walk around." The blonde gave a smile Noodle could only describe as... off putting. She hated this. The fake "everything is sunshine and rainbows" felt very played out. Why even bother faking nice?

Noodle shifted, avoiding eye contact with the other woman. "2-D and Murdoc are getting food for us... I don't want them to worry if I'm not here..." She didn't think she had the energy to walk anyway. "And if Russel wakes up..." The youngest band member could practically feel her father figure having a panic attack. She noticed the blonde's smile falter for a moment.

"They won't mind." Roselyn stood, taking one of Noodle's hands in her own. "Please? It'll only take five minutes. No one will even notice you're gone." She moved her hand to Noodle's shoulder and gave it a small but authoritative squeeze. Green eyes met with blue, then the guitarist gave a sigh, and forced herself to her feet. The blonde slipped her arm around Noodle's waist, and together they made their way out of the room.

Now Noodle's balance was relying mostly on Roselyn holding her up.

They shuffled through the halls, silently, passing by the odd patient or nurse. The guitarist was nervous. Silence was hardly ever a good thing between the two. "...I am.. sorry." She stated sheepishly, the blonde offered no response. "I mean I shouldn't have done that." Roselyn kept her head straight. "Are you mad?" A stupid question, but there was still no reaction. Noodle pursed her lips, chewing the inside of her cheek. "Will you talk to me?!" She blurted out.

Roselyn glanced around the hall they were in, then moved her hand up her girlfriend's back and shoved her into a near by janitor's closet. Noodle squeaked, grabbing hold of the shelves as the blonde followed in behind. The door was shut, and a crappy light hanging from the ceiling was turned on. The two were once again thrown into a tense silence. Noodle was expecting yelling, maybe a smack or two, and she was ready for that. But that didn't happen. Roselyn soon gently pulled the older of the pair into a soft hug.

This caught the other off guard.

This was nothing like when Roselyn had first greeted her only five minutes ago. This one was more... caring? Warm? Something like that. It felt a lot nicer than before. Slowly, Noodle wrapped her arms around her partner.

"I can't believe you..." The blonde sighed.

"I know."

"You almost died."

"Yep."

"I almost lost you..." Roselyn went quiet again. Too quiet. Then... "You asshole!" The younger woman grabbed the back of Noodle's head and pushed her into one of the walls. "How the hell could you do that to me?!" She was glaring daggers, holding the guitarist by her hair and pulling some of it out in the process. Noodle whimpered into the wall. "You're so selfish..."

"I'm sorry-"

"Shut-!" The blonde exhaled. Slowly, she let go of the older woman's hair, and turned her so the two were face to face. "I love you." She brought her hand to Noodle's face and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "I love you so much. My little kitten..." She pressed their foreheads together, and the guitarist felt her heart beat quicken. Noodle's fingers twitched as she was hit with a wave of unease.

"I should g-go see if Russel's up..." The older of the two stuttered out.

Roselyn pouted slightly. "I'm sure he's still asleep. With your other dad on my ass we might not see each other for a while..." Noodle made an uncomfortable noise, wanting to sink through the wall. "Don't be a prick."

"I'm not a prick. I'm disgusting right now." The guitarist stated, placing her hands on Roselyn's shoulders and pushing against her.

"You're always disgusting." The blonde huffed. "It'll be quick, I promise." The younger woman smiled. She leaned in to kiss the smaller woman, only for Noodle to raise a hand and deliver an open palm smack to her girlfriend's cheek.

"I said I don't wanna shag!" Noodle blurted. Roselyn rubbed the side of her face and moved her jaw. Panic set in, and the young band member threw open the door to the closet and rushed out into the hall. She heard something along "You're a fucking a dead man", but didn't actually check if she was being followed or not.

As the adrenaline wore off, so did Noodle's energy. She slumped against the wall, now slowed to a walk, and gave a huff of air. Leaning her head against the wall, Noodle came to a stop, and let herself sink to the floor. She didn't want to be here anymore. She ran her hands through her hair, then brought them under her chin to rest her head. The more she thought about her actions, the more she was regretting it.

But she didn't know what else she could have done. With a groan, she pulled herself to her feet and started making her way back to her room.

Why did all the halls need to look the same?

Noodle had been lucky enough to find a nurse to help her back. She was questioned as to why she left her room at all, but never elaborated beyond "I got lost going for a walk", which the nurse eventually shrugged off. With a long sigh, the young woman crawled back onto the hospital bed and laid on her stomach. Russel's snoring made her relax, and had 2-D and Murdoc not come barging in with a loud "We 'ave food!" she probably would have passed out.

"What the hell?!" The drummer shouted, him and Noodle both sitting up straight. Even Gina, who was reading some fantasy book Noodle took note of, jumped a little at the noise.

A sandwich in plastic wrap was tossed to Russel, then another onto Noodle's bed. It hadn't been until then the guitarist realized she was starving. That oddly warm, slightly soggy, ham and cheese was heaven when she finally made herself eat it. Murdoc made a face as he watched the twenty-something shove half the sandwich down her throat. "Don't choke on it, luv." He warned, taking a sip of equally gross coffee.

"Bes' place to do it, really." 2-D smiled. "I mean, we are at a hospi'al."

"You're not helpin'."

"Bu' it's true."

Murdoc opened his mouth to say something, but shut it. The boys kept chatting, but for Noodle it wasn't much more than white noise. She was quietly watching the talk, sometimes offering a nod or short "Yeah" or "no" in response. Part of her was ready to throw herself out the window, but for the most part she just wanted to sleep.

What finally got her attention was another nurse opening the door. She stated something about visiting hours, the boys had to go, something like that. Murdoc complained. 2-D also complained. Russel asked to sit outside the room all night. Which may have happened. The whole last twenty or so minutes all blended together. She did remember getting hugs from everyone, but once she was laying down she was almost right to sleep.

In fact, it was probably the best sleep she'd gotten in months.


End file.
